Back to the grind

I am back from my one glorious week of vacation. I flew to southern Virginia, where my parents live. I enjoyed 7 full days of sleeping in, eating home-cooked food, and vegging on the couch. It was fantastic. I was so sad to fly back on Sunday night. I have never dreaded going back to work so much. Not that work is BAD... it's just the hours were wiping me out, and so the thought of returning for another 6 months of intern year was depressing. But I suppose that's a glass-half-empty attitude. A glass-half-full person would say, "Wow, I'm halfway done with intern year!" I am trying to be more optimistic. Affirmative thinking, right? I can do it!! 6 more months!

Last night I worked on the ward. We had a 3 month old baby come in that seriously looked like a little Michelin man (hence the picture above). It was hilarious. I walked in and almost started laughing (thankfully my social tact kicked in and I laughed on the inside). Then I wondered to myself if that's what doctors thought when they saw me as a baby. I was also a really fat baby. My mom says my Korean grandmother thought babies should eat as much as possible so every time I cried she stuck a bottle in my mouth. There are pictures and home movies of me looking almost like the little Michelin baby I saw last night. So I guess I shouldn't poke too much fun at this kid. It just cracked me up, though.

Happy New Year! :)

Dry spell?

Today was so frustrating. I woke up late, as usual. Got to work late, as usual. My senior resident said, "You're gonna be one of THOSE residents, aren't you?" He was just teasing, but I didn't laugh. It was 6:00 in the morning and I hadn't had my coffee yet. I was slow rounding on patients. Physically slow, mentally slow. I didn't even get all of their information before rounds, so I sounded like an idiot when I presented to my attending. Then we were called to a scheduled C-section. The baby was 37 weeks gestational age, a bit premature. He appeared to be doing fine at first, but had some increased work of breathing. We watched him for awhile and decided to take him to the NICU for observation and diagnostic work-up. He needed some interventions, including an IV line, arterial stick, and intubation to give surfactant (a medicine we give to premature babies with immature lungs). As the intern, I was permitted to try all of these procedures first.

IV - tried three times, missed it. The nurses and techs made fun of me. "Have you put IV's in many patients? Maybe you should practice on an adult." I tried to laugh along, and replied "Yes I've put lots of IV's in adults AND babies, and I've gotten many of them. I'm just not having much luck lately."

Arterial stick - tried two times, missed it. At this point I can feel my blood pressure rising and my frustration increasing. But decided to get back on the horse and keep trying procedures.

Intubation - tried three times, missed it. Are you kidding??? I've gotten the last several intubations I've tried. This kid is KILLING my self-esteem!!

A little background info - I've been missing IV after IV, blood-draw after blood-draw... for the last 3 weeks. So today was just the icing on the cake. I felt so completely incompetent. The teasing got old. I was hungry and cranky. I snapped. My senior resident tried to make me feel better. He told me I'm probably just in a "dry spell" and that I need to keep trying until I start getting successful procedures again. I'm not so convinced that this is a dry spell. I think I'm getting tired of intern year. It's wearing me down. I've been working 12-14 hours a day for the last 3 months and I'm exhausted. I need a break. Thank goodness Christmas is just around the corner. I can't wait!!

Circumcision gone bad

Don't be fooled by the title of this blog. I didn't cut off a little boy's penis. He is still a boy, thank goodness. I'm on my nursery month right now so I've been doing lots of circumcisions. And if I say so myself, I've gotten pretty good at them. I think I'm down to about 10-15 minutes per circ, and I have had very good results. HOWEVER, yesterday I had a small complication. Not for the baby, but for ME. I was injecting lidocaine to numb up the baby's penis - something I've done many many times before. I was feeling confident, chatting with my resident and working quickly. I withdrew the needle in order to inject more lidocaine on the other side... and whaddya know, I stuck myself. A small poke in my finger, but I saw a little drop of blood. Nobody saw it happen, and for a millisecond I thought about not saying anything. But I knew I had to. So I told my resident, and I had to stop the procedure and go through the whole needlestick protocol. It can be quite painful. They took 5 tubes of blood from me (it was a lab tech who I was rude to once, so I think maybe he took more blood than he needed as revenge). They checked the baby's mom for diseases. Everything is negative so far. But I felt like such an idiot. I guess that's what I get for being too confident, and being careless with my needle. Lesson learned. And intern year continues...